GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED. CONGRATULATIONS, MEGHANN!
Welcome to Distant Pickles!
Welcome to Distant Pickles!
If
this is your first time here then welcome, glad to meet you!
If
you've been here before then hello friend, good to see you again!
Let's get right down to business, shall we? We all know why you're here... the goods!
Up for grabs today is a fat quarter bundle of Brown Bear (Eric Carle for Andover Fabrics). This bundle includes 9 fat quarters and a panel.
(Images borrowed from the fabulous Fat Quarter Shop... sorry for the stock photos, but it's dark and I forgot to take a good photo of the goods!)
So how to win?
Only required entry is a comment. We loved reading all the funny stuff last year, so let's do that again... tell us a joke, a story.. make us laugh! This counts as one entry - only one per person, please!
For a second chance, follow Distant Pickles, and let us know you do! New and old followers alike, just leave a comment letting us know you're following, and it's a second entry!
That's TWO chances at an adorable fat quarter bundle. We'll leave it open for the week and pick a winner on Friday, May 25. Mr. Random Generator will pull a winner then!
This giveaway is open to US residents only, sorry international peeps.
And don't forget... today's the last day to link up your Cosmic Burst quilt top for a chance at the Dainty Blossoms fat quarter bundle from Riley Blake Designs!
226 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 226 Newer› Newest»Here is a cute joke my cousin told me the other day:
Q: Diner: Do you serve chicken here?
A: Waiter: Sit down, sir. We serve anyone.
I am a follower!
Funny quote: you live and learn. Well, at any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams
A whole fat quarter!?!?!? WOW! Thanks for the giveaway. Hmmmm, something funny... how about the time I spilled coffee all over my desk at work. I tried to act super cool and nonchalantly clean it up. No big deal until a week later when we had to move desks. I went to pick up my computer monitor... and no joke.... it was GLUED to my desk. I had to ask for help to get it off. Try to explain that one to somebody!!!! Thanks.
I am a follower!!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Well, you don't have to cry about it.
I really love those wood-like fabrics in the middle. Thanks for the chance!
How do you make a taco stand?
Take away its chair.
Thanks for the great giveaway. I was a school librarian so, of course, I love this bundle!!!
I am a happy follower of your blog!
i'm a follower - been for a long time :)
Hm, funny story.. or joke? How do you make a tissue dance? --- put a little boogie in it :) haha lame sorry
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it". Yogi Berra
Wouldn't that material make a cute baby quilt? But I have enough material, haha only joking. No such thing as too much material!!
I have a son who is currently into animals, he squeals at the very sight of an elephant.
Knock, Knock!Who's there?Cows go.Cows go who?No, cows go moo!
haha .
thanks for the giveaway ! I am now following your blog !!!
I think I wasn't funny last year, not sure you want to hear any corny jokes this year. Where are my kids when I need them...at school of course.
Hope you'll forgive my lack of silly...and maybe let me enter anyway?!?! =) Thanks
What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
Abominable! (say it out loud, slowly)
I'm already a follower of your blog. :)
Love this fabric! Thanks for the opportunity. Penguin walks into a bar, and says, "Have you seen my brother?" Bartender says, "I don't know what does he look like?"
I totally have a quilt already planned with these exact fabrics for a donation for a silent auction at my son's school! It would be so awesome to win this!!
A man walked into a bar...
and said ouch!
I know I'm lame, it's ok :) Thanks for the giveaway!
I told my 4 year old to eat his last banana slice at dinner the other night. I said it wanted to go the party in his tummy. He looked at me and said,"It is not invited." uh-oh...that has always worked in the past!
Amy
A joke from my 6 yr old daughter - why did the chicken cross the park?? To get to the other slide! LOL
I am a Distant Pickles follower and have been for quite a while! Thanks!!
I think this poem is funny. It always cracked my son up when he was young.
Snowball
by Shel Silverstein
I made myself a snow ball as perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet and let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas and a pillow for its head.
Then, last night it ran away.
But first -- it wet the bed.
I found your giveaway at The One Stop Giveaway Shop!
(you have to say this out loud to get it)
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: FSH!
eyes = "I"s hahaha one of my all-time favorites :)
I signed up to follow your blog.
I definately need to win this! This is a true story that happened last weekend. It is not funny! There will be no laughing from you...pinky promise right? Okay so now that you have made a pinky promise, this is what happened. I was watching TV at 10pm, when I heard a car horn going off and thought what rude neighbors I have. About five minutes later I heard the horn again and then my sleepy husband runs out of the bedroom exclaiming the bear is attacking the less then a year old car! Huh? So i hurry out to the deck and yes indeed, the bear climbed into my car, through the open window to get to my sons teethign bisuits that I left in ti. Yup, It was the bear blowing the car horn! There even was a butt print over on the passenger window from it! As you can imagine, my car is scratched and the leather seats torn up. I did put my sewing skills to use by reconstructing the driver seat leather the best I could and duct taped the foam seating back together so at least I could drive it until the new seats which are costing a fortune come in. I want to figure out how to change up the traditional bear paw block to make it a middle finger sticking up :) You can laugh now.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the upholstery machine?
Don't worry. He's completely recovered!
Har. Har.
Jenna
callherhappy.com
Following your blog! stacy alfano mjalfano19@gmail.com
What did the guy say when he walked into the bar. Ouch. BWAHAHAHA! mjalfano19@gmail.com
My favorite Erma Bombeck quote is funny: "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.”
Knock Knock. Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no panths, I'm going thwimming!
One day my 4 year old grandson and my husband were discussing buying something (for the grandson of course)and my husband asked him how he would buy it. Of course he told him with money. My husband asked if he had any money and he (such a little grown up) said of course. Hubby asked where was it and little 4 year old points at hubby's pocket and says 'In your pocket'
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. (Mark Twain) It's getting to be all too true for me :)
I love fun blogs like this--definitely a follower now! When my grandsons (7, 5, and 2 years old) come for their weekly visits, I usually end up asking one of them "how you doing in there" when they disappear in the bathroom. Last week my two-year-old grandson asked me "how you doing grandma?" when I went in the bathroom. Totally cracked me up (maybe you had to be there-or not)! Love those boys!
Guess who's a new follower? ME!
Those adorable pickles in your title pic make me want to sew up some felt pickles and taunt my spouse with them (he's not a fan of pickles and doesn't like being reminded of that fact).
Such a cute giveaway!!! Thank you for a chance to win. My husband emailed me a very funny joke the other day it is a little long hopefully I can tell it without butchering it.
An old man in his 80's bought a speedy new corvette. Out on the highway he decided to see how fast he could take it. He had it up to 90 and saw a state trooper. As this might be his last time in a car this fast he floored it and after a few minutes pulled over. The officer said sir my shift ends in 30 minutes give me a good reason as to why you were speeding and i will let you go. The old man thought a moment and said... many years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper and I thought you were trying to bring her back. The officer smiled and said good day sir.
Hope you guys got a good laugh out of that! Thanks again!!
Oh and been following for quite some time!! Thank you!
I made a baby quilt with these prints a few years ago, and now that we're expecting a baby of our own, I'd love the chance to make another one! Thanks for the giveaway!
so we are driving down the road one day and my 3(at the time) year old got really serious all of a sudden. He looked at my husband and said "Dada, dragons eat people." Dada said "ya, I guess they do" and laughed. This laughter seemed to irritate my son and he replied with "Dada, dragons eat you!" We both busted out laughing. It really was pretty funny as it came out of nowhere and he was stone cold serious. He was convinced that dragons eat people and they were coming for Dada!
Awesome giveaway, by the way!!!
Following also!
I'll tell you my favorite corny joke.
What do you call a bird that flies into a screen window?
Shredded tweet
Desi
weeshareblog@gmail.com
A geeky joke:
Bartender says "we don't serve neutrinos here"
A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.
Sonya (wxgeek96 at gmail dot com)
oh and I follow through your facebook page (since I rarely check my blogger stuff)
Sonya (wxgeek96 at gmail dot com)
Funny, huh, I am not good a jokes. But my son LOVES this book. So, here goes.
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Honey bee.
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda.
I make beeping noises when the dog jumps on the sofa and backs his butt up to me.
All I've got are Laffy Taffy-type jokes. Where does a baby cow eat lunch? In the calf-eteria! (I know--bad joke!)
I just became a follower......love your name!
My friend told me this story about her 3 year old granddaughter. One day they went strawberry picking. They had a great time and when they got home the little girl said "That was fun, but next time can we go picking for chocolate chips?"
I'm FOLLOWING YOU!!!
... I feel like a stalker, telling people I follow them all day long.
Also, I couldn't get here from your linkup on the SMS Giveaway, it just brought me to a blank page... So it's a good thing I do follow you! ;)
Funny story. Well, just this past week I was looking on Facebook and I saw a certain avatar and I was all, "OMG THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE SOMETHING!!!!" *cough*
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
(Best I could do on short notice!) xo
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
Don't know why but this is one of my favorites.
Couldn't think of a joke so went to www.ajokeaday.com and found this one...
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A horse walks into a bar
bartender says "why the long face?"
I used to teach 3rd grade and once a week a 1st grade class visited so my kids could read aloud to them. Sometimes we'd play hide n seek where my kids would hide and the 1st graders had to find them. So one day the 1st graders came, found their buddies, and everyone settled down to read. I headed back to my desk and started graded papers. A few minutes later:
"Hey, Miss H.!" I look up. Nobody. I look around. Nobody.
I look down. At my feet. Under my desk.
"Hey, Miss H. I had a great spot... they haven't found me yet!"
From that day on I never forgot to check before I sat down. :o)
Do you know what a chloroform rabbit is?
And Ether Bunny :)
Thanks for the giveaway!!
Thanks for the giveaway. The jokes are funny. I don't have one, unless I search for one randomly.
How do you fit a elephant in to a fridge?
push him in!
How do you fit a giraffe in to a fridge?
take out the elephant and push him in
My daughter calls my brother "Kak". Now, just imagine her screaming "KAAAAAK!" out in public. (This has become his nick by family and friends. The best part? When she could say his name, he begged her to stick with Uncle Kak.)
Of course I'm a follower...
My all time favorite joke:
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
NACHO CHEESE!
thanks for the giveaway! :)
What did the stork say to the three babies he was delivering at the same time? The triple do you good. Thanks for the giveaway!
This is from a real conversation:
Mom: This chicken is 5 days old is it still okay to eat?
Daughter: I wouldn't eat it.
Dad: I've had food poisoning before and it was awful.
Mom: Did you die?
(at this point in time Dad & daughter are laughing so hard they can't talk, and Mom is laughing so hard she has tears rolling down her cheeks)
I am a follower!
Sue
Legato1958@aol.com
We took my son kayaking this weekend, he is 30.
While we were resting on a beach, he saw a crab crawling in the water and said he was going to pick it up.
I said, it will bit you, and did he listen? NO, and did he get bit, YES!
And to think he is my son, lol.
I love this fabric, perfect for charity quilts for kids.
Debbie
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Her mother was in a jam!
(I love oldie but goodie jokes!)
Why was the policeman sleeping?
Because he was an undercover cop!
My granddaughter text me this morning to tell me she had "a little over 19 mosquito bites"????? How much is a little over 19?
Dona
sewingmilesofsmiles.blogspot.com
New follower via email.
Dona
sewingmilesofsmiles.blogspot.com
hahaha!!
What is the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half!
I walked straight into a wall today when I was greeting a client. Slammed right into it and all I could say was "whoa, watch out for the wall."
My daughter would LOVE this!!! msagala1 at gmail dot com
My favorite kid joke is...
asker: Guess what?
answerer: I don't know, what?
asker: chicken butt!
urchiken at gmail dot com
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine! My 5 year old favorite joke :)
Thanks for hosting a giveaway.
Today I went to help in my third grader's classroom and not only was his shirt on backward...so were his pants! I wish I was making this up!
I think the funniest thing I can think of is something I said to three kids once. They walked up to me as I was trying to set up a game of touch football.
kid #1: The three of us are the stronges.
kid #2 & 3: Yep.
kid #1: He knows Kung fu, I know Karate and He knows Tai Kwan Doh.
ME: I know the bath, soup and about fifty more dangerous words.
Kids proceed to run away leaving me laughing.
I'm also a follower
I work at a preschool and Brown Bear is our favorite book
Oh, my grandson would love this to go with his favorite story book. A funny from my grandson - Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!
how does the naturalist catch a squirrel?
climb up a tree and act like a nut. !!!!!
thanks
knock knock ... who's there... boo... boo who?... don't cry it's just a joke!
I am a new follower!
A Pirate walks into a drinking establishment with a paper towl wrapped around his head...
Pirate: Barkeep, pour me a rum
Barkeep wants to ask, but decides to just pour him the drink. After awhile the pirate asks for another.
Barkeep: Sir, I have to ask, why do you have a papertowel wrapped around your heard?
Pirate: Argh, there be a Bounty on me Head...
Sorry its the best I could think of this early in the morning, lol.
My youngest sister used to tell this when she was 4 years old, many years ago. We never knew where she 'got it' or why she thought it was so funny. Today, she still laughs at the 3 seals in a bath tub.
There were 3 seals in a bath tub.
One said, pass the soap.
Another said, what do you think I am a typewriter?
sowingstitches [at] gmail [dot] com
!!!
I love this fabric!
WHen I was in third grade, I suddenly had to throw up. I took off running toward the door, but unfortunately, we were in a double classroom so the door was faaaaar away.
Next thing I know, I'm laying on the floor with my feet against the door in a pile of my own puke. The room was silent.
Then someone said "It smells like Cheerios in here".
Go ahead. You're allowed to laugh at me. :)
I already follow your blog, I love your quilts :)
c_kaminsky(at)yahoo(dot)com
My daughter (then 20 months) was taking a bath. She opened the glass door and said, "Mommy I pooped...here" and handed it to me. Gross!...But funny too :)
c_kaminsky(at)yahoo(dot)com
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.
Chuck Norris does not have a middle name because no one dares to go between Chuck Norris.
owensolivia@hotmail.com
Great giveaway!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Lion
Lion Who?
Lion on your doorstep, let me in!
Thanks,
Erin
emstone28@gmail.com
That would make an adorable baby quilt! You probably had to be there but this incident made my husband and me crack up. We were busy, busy Saturday running from store to store looking for some clothes for a wedding the kids are going to be in. We got some drive-thru food at Wendy's. My 2-year-old's (he's a carnivore) chicken nuggets ran out and he was having a fit in the car because he wanted more. I knew my 6-year-old still had one chicken nugget left so I asked him to please share it with his brother. He whined about how he was going to eat it, etc. Since I knew he still had fries left, I said, "Would you please sacrifice the chicken nugget for your brother?" Very plaintively, my 6-year-old said, "But I don't know how to sacrifice."
Thanks for chance to win! (EMAIL: marshudson at comcast dot net)
Following via GFC; thanks (EMAIL: marshudson at comcast dot net)
What kind of pie do ghosts like best?
BOOberry!
Sweet fabrics, I love this book!
My favorite joke was my youngest sister's joke when she was about 4:
Q: Why did they bury the firefighter in his suspenders?
A: (In your best "obviously, silly-pants" voice, increasing to a shout): Because he was DEAD!!!!!
Thanks for the chance to share that gem!
I'm following you now; just added the RSS feed to my Google Reader!
Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrup... (gets interrupted)
MOO!
Son: Mom can I put some money in my piggy bank
Mom: Do you have any money?
Son: Yes
Mom: Where is it?
Son: In your wallet
I follow you :)
I am a new follower.
An Amish lady was stopped by a Police Officer...
"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
" Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."
"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check this when I get home."
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home, she told her husband about the broken reflector.
He said he would put a new one on immediately.
"Also," said the Amish woman, "the policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake.
As a lot of young boys do (8 or 9) my son Asa used to pick up catch phrases that he would use to death. For a while, he was always talking about "my big floppy ears" even though his ears are perfect, lol. My way of dealing with those things was to ignore them and hope they'd go away. So one day I was driving him home from school and saw a friend in a passing car, so I waved at her. Asa said "who you waving at, Mom?" and for some crazy reason, I answered "I'm waving at your big floppy ears, Ace". And without missing a beat, he answered "Well, they're waving back!". LOL. I laughed so hard I had to pull the car to the side of the road.
I'm terrible at this game (I'm more of a long drawn out funny story person in real life, which translates to not being very funny online), but a funny thing that happened recently is my husband called the person in front of him at McDonald's an idiot because they were driving stupidly, so now everytime we drive down that street (one of the main ones in our city, where our grocery store and library are), my 2 year old loudly shouts that there was an "ijit" at McDonalds when he went with Daddy. We have to try really hard not to crack up because it is so cute-I guess the obvious obliviousness as to what that means makes it funny?
I can't think of anything funny :(
Boudreaux found Thibodeaux standing in his corn field dressed in his Sunday best. "Thibodeaux, why you out here." " Mai, Boudreaux, I just saw on the tv that they gave a bunch of men a million dollars." " Ya, that's the Nobel Peace prize." " well, I be waiting for dem to bring my million dollars." " Thibodeaux, you a foo!"" Mai no, dem people were out standing in their fields too!"
My 15 month old is learning how to talk, and I've been trying to teach her animal sounds. I was so excited when I asked her "what does a doggy say", and she replied "boof boof". Then I asked her what birdies say, "boof boof", same for kitties, and so on.
Ok. So I was a 24 year old high school English teacher. I was 6 months pregnant and ran to the bathroom between class periods. I was running late for class as the bell was about to ring, so I ran out of the bathroom as soon as I finished.... doing what I was doing.... and walked all the way down the hallway in a crowd of teenagers before I realized I had tucked my skirt into my underwear! I gave all the kids a show that day. It's ok though. We used my shame as a writing prompt!
I'm a follower:)
Wonderful fabric. I would love to make something for my grandson with it.
I am now following you.
I made my husband coffee the other morning, and scraped the sugar bowl for the last of the sugar. He left for work, taking his coffee with him. I got texts the rest of the day about the "prank" I pulled on him. Apparently he thought I purposely made his coffee undrinkable!
I follow!
Here's a kid joke I read that I think is cute/funny ;) What kind of nuts don't grow on trees?
doughnuts :)
thanks
-annabelle
what did the coach say to the bank teller?
i want my quarter back!
my daughter read that off of laffy taffy and its our current favorite!
thanks for hosting this great giveawawy
A joke my nephew tells us...
What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Does this taste funny to you?
What do you call an old ant? an antique!
That's from a Fancy Nancy book I read my daughters today.
Thanks for the chance! I'd love to win this one since we have this book and the Panda Bear book, too...my kids are 6, 3, and 1.
I love Eric Carle and the fabrics are divine. Hmm a joke? How about some science jokes:
Two guys walk in to a bar one orders H2O the second one said that sounds good he ordered H2O too. The second guy died.
Do you know any more chemistry jokes? NO.
A great story about my two year old. I couldn't find my keys one day. My two year old kept saying "pee pee" so I thought she needed to use the restroom. I was turning the house upside down and it wasn't until I took her to the bathroom that I found my keys in the toilet where she put them.
mframe00@gmail.com
When I got married, our recption was in a gym and when I threw the bouquet it bounced off the basketball hoop and came back to me. Oops. :)
peachstateme (at) hotmail (dot) com
I was in a pillow exchange last month and put my new pillow on the couch. My three year old now gets up every morning and snuggles with "his" pillow. I asked why it is his? Because its just my size! It's too small for Mommy!
What kind of tree is often found in the kitchen?
A pantry!
Following your blog.
Knock, knock...
Tonight, while playing, my son comes through the living room pushing his toy lawnmower as a grocery cart. He turns around so serious and told his Daddy this: You can't send your tormados (how he says it) into my corns no more Daddy. That is NOT ok. I thought I would die I laughed so hard. He is 4 by the way.
I follow your blog.
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
So it could hide in the cherry tree.
majorasue(at)hotmail(dot)com
Knock knock
who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, I'll let you in!
(Groan!)
Hmm. I'm 33 but people mistake me for 16 all the time. Embarrassing. Thanks for the chance to win :)
new follower-gfc
A joke: Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense.
shel704 at aol dot com
GFC follower here
shel704 at aol dot com
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
a polar bear bear walks into a bar and says i will have a whiskey and......................COLA
bartender says ok, but why the big pause?
the polar says i dont know i was born with them
my daughter got me with this joke super silly but funny for a 8 years old specially if mom yells it in front of other people...
my daughte: "mom look under" "mom look under" "mom look under"
me: "UNDER WHERE" {underwear}
get it? ohh she tought it was so funny
New follower today!
A bear walks into a bar. The bartender says, what can I get for you? The bear thinks a good long time, then finally asks for a chocolate milk. Why the big pause, the bartender asks? Because I'm a bear, says the bear.
Why do seagulls fly toward the ocean?
If they flew to the bay, they'd be bagels!
carrie dot hare @gmail.com
What is a rats least favorite nation? Extermination. Thanks for the chance to win.
Here is one of my favorite quotes: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
-Miss Piggy
Thanks for the chance to win.
I'm a new follower. Thanks for the great giveaway.
New follower via email
beth(dot)sebastian(at)gmail(dot)com
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
(HAHA)
beth(dot)sebastian(at)gmail(dot)com
Dang it, I'm bad at jokes! Let me think... as a child my favorite was the knock knock joke where the "banana" answers three times and then the fourth time you say, "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Sorry it's not too original, but it's all I've got! christina112358 at gmail dot com
I'm terrible at jokes and can't ever remember the funny things my kids do when I need to. So how about the joke that niece kept telling me (it's the only thing I can think of at the moment)?
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Not sure why it amused her so much, but her laugh made us laugh. :-)
Oh, what kids find funny....
Here's a terrible oldie... If you're American in the kitchen and you're Italian in the bedroom then what are you in the bathroom? European.
My 5 year old was just getting in trouble by my husband for talking back, and got a spanking. My son then proceded to tell my husband he was going to give him a spanking if he ever gave him another spanking. I had to leave the room so I wouldn't laugh.
The Tomato family was out walking and Little Tomato lagged behind. Daddy Tomato looked back and said, "Little Tomato, ketchup!"
My son loves my in-laws cats, but the cats don't so much love him. He's 3 and chases them all over the house non-stop. This past week we heard him saying to one of the cats, "I sorry for scaring you, kitty cat. I be nice. We be friends?" It gave us all a little chuckle.
A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."
Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."
Man: "What covers a house?"
Dog: "Roof!"
Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"
Dog: "Rough!"
Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"
Dog: "Ruth!"
Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"
Holy macerole!! I want it! Whyis the locl quilting group loosing members? Because it had poor BACKING!! OH, I admitted I Google helped me with that one but I really want to win!!
I am a long time unofficial follower but I just actually clicked the button to make it official!
We call my dog the water ninja because he sneaks up on the water bowl and will only walk backwards away from it (every single time!)
I'm now a follower- cute blog!
What is a pirate's favorite vegetable? Arrr-tichokes. Thanks for the generous giveaway! akmajor(at)gmail(dot)com
love the fabric. no that is not the joke, that is truth.
My youngest son today while in the car couldn't do something because he was too small and he started crying and yelled out 'why can't I just be four' it made me smile.
So my 14yo daughter is doing some reading for school and she comes to a word she can't pronounce and says to me...."Mom, is "gnaws-stal-age-ee-a" a disease? Could not for the life of me figure out what word it was. I grab her book: nostalgia.
My daughter has asperger and hates odd numbers, and this is a joke she tells me. What did 10 say to 1, hahaha I am in even Number and you are an odd number. I hope this brings a smile to your face.
a follower GFC
wcharp6739(at)att(dot)net
one of my 3 years twin boys replied to people when he was ask "how are you?" he said "I am three" So I told him to say, "I am fine, thanks" He told me that he is not Five, he is three.
wcharp6739(at)att(dot)net
”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’”
And I'm a new follower!
Last week I checked into my FB page & noticed my sister had liked an oddly named page. I said to my son "Your aunt is likin' stuff all over the place" & He says to me, straight-faced, "She's going to turn into a werewolf" (You know, cuz *lycan*) OMG, pun :) I trained him so well :D Thanks for the great giveaway
"tell me something funny." i ask the three year old. "poop on your head!"
fingers crossed! treevt80 at yahoo dot com
oh what fun, love this book... bailjane(at)hotmail(dot)com
Some of these comments are really fun, this is not one of them. Have a good day!
Beans in sandy soil causes Dust in the Wind
So a magician gets a gig playing a cruise ship, and he's really excited about it. Every night he puts on his show and does the best he can. Unfortunately, every night the captain sits in the front row with a parrot on his shoulder, and the parrot quickly catches on to his tricks. The parrots starts calling out, "it's up his sleeve!" "the girl has it", and so on. The magician hates that parrots.
After several days have gone by, the ship hits something and sinks. The magician is able to climb onto a piece of driftwood and the parrot lands on the other end. For two days straight the magician and the parrot glare at one another without saying a word. On the morning of the third day, the parrot finally says, "I give up. What did you do with the boat?"
Have a great day!
My son always has lots of jokes for us. One of his favorites is: A boy is riding in a car with his grandfather. The grandfather turns to him and says, 'Oh, no! I just made an illegal right turn!' The boy answers, 'That's ok, Grandpa. The cop right behind us just did the same thing!'
Thanks for the chance to win!
My daughter, on many occasions, in public bathrooms, tells me what a big bottom I have. Because I don't fall in the potty.
sntbosch(at)msn(dot)com
i teach preschool; right before school was out one of my little girls pointed to her eye and asked "Is my eye still there?" To which I said "yes" then I asked her "Why did you ask if your eye was still there?" her answer "I poked it" She was so serious it took a lot of concentration not to laugh out loud. She thought she had poked her eye our LOL
i was watching an old episode of mad men last night and i thought this was pretty funny :
A hillbilly knocks on the door of his new neighbor’s house.
"Howdy neighbor", he says. "In honor of you movin' in to the holler, I'm gonna throw a party. There's gonna be a whole lot of drinkin', a whole lot of dancin' and a whole lot of screwin'."
"Sounds like fun", the neighbor says..."what can I bring?"
Hillbilly replies, "You can bring anything you want; just gonna be you and me."
... raineoc@yahoo.com
im a new follower :) raineoc@yahoo.com
This is awful, but I cracked up anyhow, so here goes:
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."
Carbon: A Frenchman's opinion of his nice new automobile.
My 4 year old recently heard the song "Rumor Has It" by Adele on the radio. I heard him singing his version which goes "Ew, MooMoo has it". LOL
I now follow your blog through GFC
A horse goes into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the long face?"
mlwright29(at)hotmail(dot)com
Great fabrics for a baby quilt that I owe my baby grandniece... thanks for the chance
So I spent a year living in India while my beau completed his dissertation research. During the middle of a hot Gujarat summer (in which it's well over 100 most days... all day) our air conditioner broke, forcing us to sleep in the middle of our house with all the ceiling fans on and the kitchen door and porch door open in an attempt to get some air flow.
One night/very early morning we were watching baseball on TV while sprawled out on our makeshift bed... or rather I was watching baseball as my beau had fallen asleep! I heard a funny noise and looked to my right to see a little monkey watching baseball with me! There he sat, on his little monkey butt, with his legs extended out in front of him and his hands on his knees...
tina_crossgrove(at)hotmail(dot)com
My 18 month old knows most of his animals but when you point to a monkey and ask him what it is he always says "Dada" and then giggles!
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
Funny!? Ugh, I can never do funny when asked! LOL Hmmm..... the one above me is funny though!
Trying to channel my nephew....hmmm.....sorry nothing is coming to me. Hope I still have a chance...
What a sweet giveaway! My husband suggested putting a quilting frame in our living room about 6 months ago.....I thought it would look too cluttered. Well the other day I told him not to say a "word" but I thought we should put up the frame in the living room.............he did very well.....for a while then said Gee I wish I had thought of that!
My son ate waaaaay too much fruit one day and later reported that he had "the ballerina".
lovely fabric
I have a two year old son who is always cracking me up, so the other day, he got in trouble for something or other, I don't even remember, but he was sent to his room, and after a couple of minutes I hear him singing to himself: "I'm in trouble again... I'm in timeout...[gobbledygook singsongy stuff]...I have to be in timeout" My two year old was singing the blues!!! I couldn't believe it and wish like crazy I had been able to record it, but he would have stopped at soon as he saw me. Anyway, hope that makes others smile as much as me :)
Thanks for the great giveaway!
The other day while visiting the rest home my dad lives in a old lady threw a fork at us. 10 min later a spoon came. We tried not to upset her but then later she threw a glass at us that broke on the floor. before we left we could here her saying those are bad people make them go away.
http://richardquilts.blogspot.com
Also a follower
http://richardquilts.blogspot.com
Awesome fabric line! The thing that cracks me up almost daily is that my 175 lb St. Bernard hates any sort of courier agency approaching the door and attempts to intimidate like none other, but if a pillow falls off the couch he runs to another room and hides. Ha! So much for security.
I am a new follower-- and thank you for the extra entry chance! :-)
Here's a joke I got in an email a few days ago:
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
I'm a follower and I love you both :)
My birthday was yesterday. I was turning 29 and my daughter, age 5, asked me if I was past a hundred and still counting.
Here is the three year old's version of a joke.
Knock knock?
Who's There?
Poop (laugh hysterically)
Poop who? (laughing even more hysterically)
Poop on your head.
He made that one up himself... lovely right?
I was in Target on Earth Day and they had a clerk at the door giving everyone a free reuseable bag and saying "Happy Earth Day!" As the two little old ladies ahead of me walked away, one said to the other, "Did she say it was Target's birthday?" Her friend assured her that yes, it was indeed Target's birthday!
I don't have anything funny but I have spent too much time reading all the comments here.They are great, should really brighten your week. Sorry, I'm so dull. Thanks.
What a giveaway! Okay, bad joke. Why do gorillas have big nostrils. Because they have big fingers.
smcintosh12(at)gmail(dot)com
A funny story about my 1.5 year old boy: The other day he woke up with one thing on his mind. Immediately after getting out of bed, he sat down in front of our dog to read him a book. A book about cats. :)
When my daughter was 3 we went to a playgroup. Her little friend tried to open the door, told my daughter it was locked. My daughter said I can open it. Went up to the door, and said "Abre!" I swear we didn't watch that much Dora!
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